Big Trouble with an 8-Year-Old (Dear Margo)

DEAR FREAK: What this kid is in touch with is emotional disturbance. To think that the youngster is "not hiding his curiosity" suggests to me that Jocasta, I mean the mother, has oatmeal cookies for brains. Nothing you describe is in the realm of normal child development. You somehow have to get your wife to a session with a child specialist who can convince her that the kid is off the rails -- and it's possible she is feeding his neurosis. Believe me, there is nothing customary about an 8-year-old boy who's in the habit of touching his mother's breasts and behind and taking every chance he gets to see her naked. Displaying himself and attempting what sounds like masturbation is a red flag for psychiatric intervention. That your wife thinks all this is normal means there are two people in your house who need help.

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DEAR MARGO: I have been married to my husband for three years. We have two baby girls, as well as my daughter from a previous marriage whom he loves as his own. We have a pretty happy marriage, but there is one issue that never seems to be resolved. My husband is still friends with his ex-fiancee. It's not like they are just on good terms; they talk to each other two to three times a week. She is married with her own children, so I'm not sure why it bothers me, but it does. A big part of it is that my husband rarely talks to her in front of me. I have met her a few times, but then I feel like the third wheel. When he does talk to her in front of me, he is a completely different person -- happy, fun, etc. He had pictures of her in our closet up until recently. I told him I am not comfortable with their level of closeness. To answer an obvious question, yes, I did know that he was friends with her before we were married, but I was told that he talked to her "once in a while." It wasn't until after we were married that I found out how close they really are. Is a friendship like this appropriate for a married man? Am I being irrational? How can I bring this up to him again without it coming down to an ultimatum? I used to think he would choose me over her, but now I'm not so sure.

Full Story: Big Trouble with an 8-Year-Old (Dear Margo)

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